Have you ever wondered if you are in a healthy relationship with your boyfriend? Should you really keep dating this guy? Find out if it’s worth staying or time to move on by taking this quick quiz.
Begin by numbering a piece of paper from 1-45. Then, read and truthfully answer each question either Yes or No. When you are finished, figure out your score by using the instructions below.
Inspired by Scars of the Heart.
YES or NO 1. I feel adored and respected in my relationship
YES or NO 2. I feel like I’m not good enough for my boyfriend
YES or NO 3. I often feel pressured to be more than who I am
YES or NO 4. I feel encouraged to be better and overcome hard times by my boyfriend
YES or NO 5. He is proud to have me around and does not try to hide our relationship
YES or NO 6. I don’t feel like I can truly speak what’s on my mind
YES or NO 7. My boyfriend is pushing me to be more physical than I want to be
YES or NO 8. We are able to communicate our feelings clearly and respectfully without yelling
YES or NO 9. We each have friends of the same gender that we hang out with outside of our relationship
YES or NO 10. If my boyfriend takes a little longer than normal to text back, I am worried he doesn’t like me anymore or that he is with another girl
YES or NO 11. I am able to easily communicate my true and honest feelings with my boyfriend
YES or NO 12. When I am upset, he listens or helps me find a solution
YES or NO 13. I have to try too hard to please my boyfriend
YES or NO 14. I feel hesitant/uncomfortable with actions going on between me and my boyfriend
YES or NO 15. I no longer recognize who I am anymore and don’t like who I’ve become
YES or NO 16. I feel desired by my boyfriend only because of how I look OR I am mistreated when I don’t look the way he wants me to
YES or NO 17. My boyfriend proves he cares for me through his actions, not just his words
YES or NO 18. I miss how confident I used to be
YES or NO 19. I feel like a burden in my relationship
YES or NO 20. I feel like I can accomplish things I didn’t think I could in the past
YES or NO 21. I feel more confident in who I am as a person
YES or NO 22. I never have to wonder if my boyfriend is thinking about another girl
YES or NO 23. I get spoken to in a way that makes me feel empty inside
YES or NO 24. I like the crowd of friends that he hangs out with
YES or NO 25. I cry myself to sleep at night; I’m upset more than I am happy
YES or NO 26. My boyfriend tells me that he wishes I was more like someone else
YES or NO 27. We get in arguments over little things
YES or NO 28. My boyfriend makes promises but never follows through
YES or NO 29. He goes out of his way to make things easier for me or to make me feel special
YES or NO 30. I don’t like when he spends time with his guy friends and I want all of his attention
YES or NO 31. He doesn’t like when I spend time with my girl friends; he wants to control who I can and can’t see
YES or NO 32. He acts different when he is around his friends than when he is with me
YES or NO 33. If something makes me upset, he doesn’t care or notice
YES or NO 34. He is always the same person no matter what setting he is in
YES or NO 35. He ONLY makes me feel special after he has messed up or hurt my feelings
YES or NO 36. My boyfriend encourages me in my walk with Jesus Christ
YES or NO 37. I feel closer to understanding who God is because of how my boyfriend treats me
YES or NO 38. We agree on things about salvation and what the Bible says
YES or NO 39. I read my Bible less since we have been dating
YES or NO 40. We never talk about God in our conversations
YES or NO 41. I read my Bible the same or more than I used to before we started dating
YES or NO 42. We share how God is working in our lives
YES or NO 43. We never go to church; God is not a priority in our lives like I want
YES or NO 44. God is the center of our relationship. We want to do things in His will
YES or NO 45. He yells at me or has threatened to hurt me OR he has hurt me physically
If you answered YES to the following: ADD 1 Point
1, 4, 5, 8, 9, 11, 12, 17, 20, 21, 22, 24, 29, 34, 36, 37, 38, 41, 42, 44
If you answered YES to the following: SUBTRACT 1 Point
2, 3, 6, 7, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28,
30, 31, 32, 33, 35, 39, 40, 43
If you answered YES to 45 STOP immediately and Get Help NOW
So, how’d you do?
15-20 points = Looking good! Seems like this relationship has some solid foundation for moving forward. Thinking about getting married? Be sure to read Scars of the Heart for other important things to discuss before saying “I do.”
7-14 points = Doing Okay. You may want to take some time off from this relationship and really see if it’s the best thing for you and him. If there are areas which both of you can improve on, focus on those and maybe retake the quiz again in the future.
0-6 points = This probably is NOT the guy you want to spend your forever with. Use what you have learned from this relationship. Find someone who is more compatible with you and make you a better version of yourself.
Less than 0 = If your score is in the negative, your heart is also in the negative. It is time to end this relationship, and the sooner the better. Take some time to heal before you jump into a new one. In the future, only invest your time in someone that compliments you and brings out the best in you.
Remember: You are worth it! God thinks you are incredible and so should the person who you spend your time and emotions on!
For more dating tips, check out my book Scars of the Heart
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